The Elephant in the Room

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Hi.  It’s me.  I am the elephant in my healing room.  I know it’s surprising to people when they come to see me, and I’ve been highly recommended, and they see the state of my health.   I am currently obese, I have lost flexibility and suppleness in my body.  I have large circles under my eyes, and I look like a harried mom.  I know this.   I work with a lot of them.  I also know what I’m doing wrong right now and that in order to be healthy and peaceful I need to meditate, sleep, exercise, eat properly and at regular intervals.   I know this, yet in my daily life I don’t eat at normal meal times, I average five hours of sleep a night, and I manage my daughter’s activity calendar too- Sound familiar?

I struggle with the same dis-ease and discomfort that so many women suffer from- the inability or unwillingness to put myself first.  I neglect to do this even when it means that I will serve my family and my community from a more loving and balanced vantage if I do support myself.

I know that it’s hard to take what I say seriously when I clearly don’t follow my own advice.

A dear friend asked me why I struggle with this, and the answer came upon me almost instantly.  I don’t know how to ask for help with my voice. I have turned my body into a plea for help.   My mouth and my voice say I can do it, and that everything is fine, and my body tells the truth – I feel out of control sometimes, and I need help.  I need to know how to reach out and ask for connection, and trust that I will be heard. I am thrilled to connect and rejoice for other people, but feel afraid that it will not be maintainable if I try to turn it on for myself.   I am undoing years of childhood conditioning here, and opening to the abundance of the universe, with all of you as its messengers.

It’s time for me to reach out for the help and support that I’ve been offering to others.  We all need each other.  It’s okay to have a messy house and less than perfect meals while spending time and energy developing a business and raising really good people.  It’s okay to go to bed on time, even if it means that the laundry isn’t folded and the sink isn’t empty.  It’s okay to love myself the way you would a friend-to drop everything else, and ask myself what I need in order to thrive.

I’m learning how to ask myself what I need in order to show up in loving presence, and more than anything else, I am learning to listen to the answer.  I often argue with myself, and convince myself to do one more thing before I can relax and take care of me.

I am making the agreement today – that if I am given the information about what I need, I also give myself permission to listen and act on the information!

I thank all of you for going through this with me, and sharing your experiences along the way.

Energy for the Highest Healing and the Greatest Good is occurring!  

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