The Energy of Connection : Part III


As we continue to wind our way up the chakra system, moving through the energies of security and creativity, it’s time to focus on the 3rd chakra, Manipura. This chakra is responsible for the energy of power. And as we explore what power means and how to bring it into focus in our own lives, we get to explore the trinity of power – power of divine, personal power (power over self) and power over others.

Power is: the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of self or others or the course of events.

Our third chakra can in many ways relate to our toddler phase- the need to prove one’s separate identity, the need to say ‘I do it myself!’ and the need to create cause and effect in order to help find one’s place in the working order of things. Without the balance of security, and the ability to safely and creatively explore the universe around you, our third chakras can easily become deeply out of whack.

When we are not allowed or encouraged to experience natural consequences, our false sense of esteem (ego) grows, while our true sense of worth (value) is decreased, as we are not able to prove our strength and perseverance through adversity.

When we learn to manipulate others to get events, either by triggering their insecurities or by using the carrot and stick technique, we create a layer or separateness that can take years to sort out. When we manipulate others, we do not have to learn to speak clearly and articulately for ourselves, to take ownership for our actions, and to follow through with the consequences of our choices.

Currently, we see so many people who are physically obese around the midsection, often called a ‘spare tire.’ This is symbolic of the several issues regarding the third chakra – first of all, it’s a message that we are out of control.   It’s a message that we have resisted stepping into our power, and are willing to hand it away, or be passive about our passions.   It’s indicative of low energy, depression, difficulty solving problems, and unresolved anger.

Clearly, we can’t box it up at tidily as that, but it is most often and representation of missed opportunities to become the person that we are meant to be, due to fear. I know, I’m like a broken record right now. It really does all boil down to fear – fear that we won’t be good enough being the person that we are absolutely meant to be and are supported in being.   When we fear our failure, we create our failure, and often to cover that up, we create long stories about our families, parents, sibling lineup, class structure, financial background, and birth order. When we lean into these stories, we give our power away for free.

When this chakra is balanced, we feel sure footed, trust our intuition, feel confident standing up for ourselves and our ideas, implement ideas, have follow through, and trust that we can ask for what we need and be heard. Doesn’t that sound fantastic?

There is a saying that “Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.” Lao Tzu

Imagine trusting yourself implicitly, to have clean and clear motives, to bring confidence into all of your endeavors, and to find joy in knowing yourself.

One of the best ways to quickly connect with and balance this chakra is to do belly breathing.   Sit comfortably, with arms and legs uncrossed.   Begin to breathe in deeply through your nose, imagining that you are pulling the breath all the way down to the pubic bone.   When you have inhaled as much as possible, hold the breath in, and begin to pump the stomach in and out. Do this for as long as possible, without getting faint or lightheaded.   Exhale smoothly, inhale, and repeat for 2-3 minutes.

And, as always, if you have further questions or comments, you can always e-mail me for a personal response, or to book an in person or distance session.

Take care!


The Energy of Connection :Part II

second chakra

In my last post, I spoke about the energy of being able to genuinely connect through our first chakra, and how having an open and available first chakra allows us stability, confidence, and foundational energy to approach life and its challenge’s with grace and availability. When our first chakra is misaligned, we often suffer from anger, depression, lack of self-confidence, and uncertainty about our rights to exist, our fundamental value. There were some ideas and meditations on how to align and balance that energy, in order to allow it to flow, and this brings us to the second chakra.

The second chakra is the chakra associated with creativity, growth, movement, sexuality and composition, passion and joy. This sacral chakra, the Svadhisthana, is represented by the color orange. The chakra is the one that I find most abused in our current culture, with its mixed messages of sexuality defining our value, the breadth of our interests valued more than the depth of our joy, and the desire to be seen as a sexual object valued more than the ability to be a sensual being, in both giving and receiving.

Too often this chakra is most associated with connecting through sexual energy, and by sexual energy, I mean the acts of sexual behavior. Flirting, touching, and intercourse are all delightful activities, but not the full scope or capabilities of this divine energy. In the United States, we are often confronted with the idea of our sexuality being a currency from a very young age. Our worth is defined by our desirability. Sadly, the energy of this chakra is so much more than this – the energy of the second chakra is the energy of creation. It is the energy that drives us, as children to write, draw, paint, sing and make believe without shame or fear. It is what makes us dance, spin, and touch! It is what drives us to create stories, relationships, music and fun. And, if the time is right, it is what we call upon to create new life. Sexuality and sensual energy are so divinely connected, and yet we are currently misunderstanding them so grandly. Sexuality is not about an end product, and release, a finishing act. Sexuality is the energy of opening and expanding yourself to new ideas and unexplored experiences in intimacy. Sensuality is using the tool of our bodies, without shame, to share this experience with others. If the energy of sexuality is the music, sensuality is the in our bodies are the instruments we need to bring it to life. This means that any creation that is born of authenticity and passion, be it a painting, a piece of music, a great book, poetry, are all born on this divine energy.

We need to bring the same mindfulness and thoughtfulness to how we apply our sexual energy, as it is in partnership with our sensual energy. Too often, we limit our creativity in the same way we limit the ways we think we are attractive. We begin to focus on creating a product that we believe will please others, not on processing the energy that enlivens and pleases ourselves. When we take passion and pride in our creation, it doesn’t matter so much what the world makes of it, because we know it was born in honesty and joy, and has a purpose in the world.

When we try to create ourselves to fit a certain mold, or create our lives to fulfill artificial criteria, then we are always asking of ourselves, ‘Am I enough? Am I doing it right? Is this good enough?’ and that fear becomes insecurity. Insecurity is the cancer of authenticity.

To help balance this chakra, all you need to do is think about something you loved doing as a child – coloring, singing, drawing, dancing, making mud pies, creating structures, building, and give yourself permission to do those things again, without a product in mind. There is no failure, there is only the experience.

Also, a meditation for each day: picture a large orange sphere, the size of salad plate encompassing your genitals and sex organs. Use this orange light to illuminate yourself from the inside out, and as you strengthen the light, imagine the light beginning to pulse, and force the light and movement upward as your body warms and relaxes. This may feel awkward and forced at first, but keep it up, just for 30 seconds – 2 minutes a day, and you will soon feel an increase in your awareness of your own creative potential.

If you have further questions, remember distance sessions are always an option, or make an appointment to see me, as clearing the blocks around this chakra can lead to so much dynamic energy and growth.

Energy of Connection Part 2


When asked to think about the meaning of connection, as I wrote about last week, what we are really thinking about and creating is a bond, as well as a sense of place.

Our sense of place can vary greatly, but we all want a place where, deep in our hearts we hear the welcoming sounds of “Take your shoes off, let your hair down, stay awhile. It doesn’t matter if you show up rich or poor, wise or foolish, broken or whole.   You have a place at our table, and we have been waiting for you.”

This is the sense of community and place that many churches and temples and spiritual communities are trying to foster- this sense that when you come to us, even if you are broken, you are whole.

This is the energy that is most vulnerable and strongly represented by our first chakra.   Our first chakra is located at the base of the spine, right at the tip of the tail bone, and is associated with instinct, safety, survival, grounding, family, security, boundaries and new beginnings.   The physical body parts associated with this charka are the coccyx, anus, large intestine, adrenal glands, back, lets, feet, and bones.

Your root chakra is where you store the majority of your early programing.   The messages that you received by observing the behavior and reactions of the people and the world around you have created a perception about the world that you then carry out through your vibrations into reality. Many of us have received healthy and balanced messages, and feel that we have a place in the world, can move forward with confidence, and trust the ground beneath us. For those who have experienced other more negative and fear-based programing, here is some information.

In my work with healing, I notice two distinct patterns that are emerging. Regardless of the messages that create these beliefs, many people are walking around with one of these untrue core beliefs: “I am invisible” or “I take up too much room”.

If your core belief is ‘I am invisible’, then it is very hard to get your needs met, because you don’t even know what your needs are. It is difficult to speak up for yourself, because you are constantly using outside information or facts to try justifying your feelings, and sometimes your very existence.   People with this belief system are often ‘doers’ who don’t feel that they deserve to just exist, they feel that people will only love and value them when they are performing acts of worthy service.   This can be exhausting. They carry around the burden of not being able to accept love, because they feel undeserving.

The second belief is ‘I take up too much room.’ This if for people who don’t believe that their needs can ever be met, because they were raised in a family of lack, and their needs were seen a criticism or unreasonable demands on family resources, be they financial, emotional or spiritual.   People who hear this message either go big (think Madonna or Elton John) or small. And even though they know what they want, they believe that acting like a martyr is the surest and quickest way to show love. They consistently subvert their needs in order to show that they are willing to be team players, and in this way cause anxiety, resentment, depression, and a lack of intimacy.

The good news is, change is already happening.   Once again, all you have to do is allow the shift that exists inside of you to happen, and all of this energy wants to be balanced and return to neutral.

1.Sit comfortably in a chair or on the floor, with your sit bones firmly planted.

2.Breathe in through your nose, and exhale through your mouth.

3.As you breath, allow your muscles to soften, and to experience that the ground beneath you is holding you steady and sure.

4.Speak to your fear and anxiety like a small child, with love and compassion.

Thank your fears for keeping you safe, because that is really all they have tried to do for you – they have tried to keep you in boundaries that minimize pain.

5.Picture your fears like fierce little children, who have been dressed up with war paint and wooden swords and suction cup bows and arrows, but whose intensity and sincerity in protecting you rivals the fiercest of seasoned warriors.

6.Thank those children, and feed them, and send them to bed. Let them go home. Let them know you don’t need them to stand guard for you any more, fragile and exhausted, that you are ready to embrace divine energy to protect and love yourself.

7. Allow divine love to flow over and through you and carry away any negative, toxic or tired energy.

Repeat as often as necessary.

Take care my loves, and remember, you can always follow up with me at if you have further questions.




The Energy of Connection

imgresConfession time: This blog post has had me stumped for days. I’ve felt the feeling of what I want to write about for over a week now, and every time it comes down to putting pen to paper, or curser to word, I find a jumble of thoughts and ideas without a nucleus. And thinking, mulling, getting crabby, frustrated and fed up has only led me to one conclusion: What I want to say must be important to me. So as I’ve teased out threads and drafts and tossed ideas, I’ve realized why this particular topic has been such an ordeal- it’s because it’s huge. And I mean BIG.

What I’ve been trying to craft words for is all about the energy of connection.   And this touches on so many different levels that without breaking them down, I would end up with a book instead of a blog. So after much procrastinating, (MasterChef & Mountain Men) I have narrowed down my focus, and decided to write this blog in a series. My hope is that they will sequential feed both each other and you, and help guide you to new places, experiences, and understanding.

The first segment is strictly about what connection looks like and means, and how we go about making connections.

Firstly, we born as a supported part of an unending wave of consciousness. We are born into the particular dimension, and this particular experience for several reasons – to be of service, to learn from experience, to share joy, and to ALWAYS more deeply connect with and dissolve the lines between ourselves and divine grace.

Connection is defined as a link or a bond between people, communities, ideas and actions.   All of the personality tests in the world are designed for one reason – to help us narrow down and understand our ways of connecting, and hopefully allow us to experience connection more fully and consciously.

When we are born into our Family of Origin, we are often born into a certain set of expectations and norms. The more we accept and excel within those norms, the more connected and successful we feel with that family. This becomes a problem when your family or origin has unhealthy or untrue beliefs about how the world works, and how we are to show up to honor our place in the world, and the divine within. Don’t worry – this is the story line for a lot of people. When your body and soul realize, on a souluar and cellular level that they are connecting to an untrue story there is a rebellion. This can take the form of sickness, illness, disconnect, misbehavior, withdrawing, depression, anxiety, or addictions. When we are children, most of our rebellions are smaller and self-inflicted as we try to communicate that we don’t want to participate in this style of connection. The problem is, many people are so ego bound that they feel that a rejection of their story or their methods means a rejection of themselves, and in this way we learn from a young age to accept bullshit stories in order to remain in relationship with people who we value and count on in our lives.

As spiritual beings, we yearn for a genuine connection. Many of you have had the experience of meeting someone and finding an instant comfort or friendship. This is because you have recognized the soul within, and connected on a level beyond the story, and are ready to engage in authentic relationship.

Asking people about their family of origin during sessions is always incredibly telling, because their energy usually either surges outward in an incredibly offensive tactic, or recedes inward to an incredibly defensive position. Knowing if a person is either rejecting or protecting their core beliefs is one of the first steps in guiding them towards greater understanding. These beliefs don’t need to be rejected or protected, they simply need to be introduced to, and replaced with the true connection to divine spirit energy. This is where energy, alignment, contentment, and connection flourish.

For those of us who are stubborn (you’re looking at her!) it takes many turn of the wheel to begin to surrender outdated ideas and beliefs. It takes a concentrated effort on my part to recognize my habits and ideals, and take responsibility for how they create my reality. The moment—and I really am talking to the hour—I surrender them, my life fills with abundance in ways that I could not have foreseen or imagined.

My hope, as we progress through these posts and look more carefully at the energy of connection, is that you are able to look at what ties you, tethers you, anchors you, and frees you. My hope is that you are able to feed the parts of you that feel good, and release with joy and love the conditions you have placed on your life that are limiting.

Remember, Only Energy for Your Highest Healing and Greatest Good is Allowed!

Until next week, breathe in. Then out. Repeat.

Balancing Act


One of the issues that many people come and see me about is creating balance in their lives.  This balance can be between the past and the future, between their inner lives and outer projections, between their soul desires and their ability to reach for them, among other things.

I would like to share with all of you my favorite exercise to do to create balance.

Traditionally in our bodies the left side is the feminine side.  This is the side that is receptive, nurturing, intuitive, responsive compassionate and patient.   When this side is open and balanced, your feminine aspect has the ability to nurture without draining, to listen to your intuition without fear, and to be receptive of other ideas and directions without needing to influence or manipulate.


The right side of our bodies is the masculine side.  The masculine side influences the way we project ourselves, either confidently or timidly.   The right side has to do with how you are able to present your self to others.  It involves claiming your rights, making decisions, how to act responsibly, and how to logically approach your current reality.

In the center, from the crown through the tailbone, is the neutral area, the divine channel where divine spirit essence can flow freely in both directions to restore and maintain connection and balance.   This channel is where we can assist in resolving blockages that can hinder our lives.   Balancing the right and left sides allows energy to flow smoothly, and remove issues without even thinking about them, just allowing balance to be restored.

In order to do this meditation, you need to find somewhere to sit or lie down comfortably.  It can even be in your car for that moment or two before you turn the key.  Make sure that nothing on your body is crossed – feet are directly below the knees, and hands are not folded or crossing the midline.

Take 3-10 seconds to do a body scan. Quickly check in with yourself, see where you are holding tension, where your body is able to relax against your chair or bed, and where you are in any pain or discomfort.

Then, beginning with your left foot, imagine that you have an opening about the size of a silver dollar right in the center of your foot, between the arch and the ball of the foot.   Say to yourself, out loud, ‘ I only accept energy and information that is for my highest healing and the greatest good’ three times.

Visualize that opening in your foot; imagine that you are a giant straw, pulling in all clean and clear energy that will restore you.  Run this energy up your left side, and when you reach the crown, either let it flow out the crown of your head, or picture it pulling a U-turn, and flowing back down the right side of your body.   If a particular color or essence comes with you, allow it move through you and collect any negative energy and pull it away.

Often times, people experience a resistance in certain places in their body, particularly around the joint areas, hips, knees and shoulders.   If this is the case for you, don’t force the energy to flow through you, just acknowledge the blockage, and imagine that the energy is continuing to flow, despite the blockages.    It is easy to get caught up in being able to do something ‘right’ or effortlessly, but this is just a continuous practice.

I often use the imagery of water when doing this meditation, because the energy of water is both persistent and painless when confronted with obstacles.   So I invite you to picture all of this divine energy flowing into your left foot, collecting all unwanted and stagnant energy, pulling it and flushing it out of your system, and allowing it to release through the right foot.   Often you’ll feel the effects of subtle energy, and noticing your toes or fingers twitching or clenching, or slight spasms in your throat, stomach and hip area.   These are normal sensations that are associated with the release of bound energy.

Have fun with this, try to practice anywhere from 1-15 minutes a day, and please call, message or text me if you have difficulty or feel like you would like some assistance with this beginning meditation and energy connection.




” People rarely succeed unless they have fun with what they are doing.”  Dale Carnegie  


I will never forget the response I had when I was 26 years old, and a therapist asked me what I did for fun.

I was in therapy because it seemed like everyone in my family had some form of mental illness – bi-polar, schizophrenic, OCD, alcoholic, anxiety, you name it, they had it.

I was in therapy because I was the single mother of a 3 year old, and I felt like I was drowning, and I was scared that my coping mechanisms would mean that I would finally reveal my crazy.

So this therapist, who was skilled and wonderful and warm and reassuring, after telling me that I did not have any diagnosable mental illness, then asked me what I did for myself.   He asked me what I did for fun.

I burst into tears.

My life had been so hectic and busy and I had been so scared and uncertain and living paycheck-to-paycheck and often not even doing that much.  I worked full time, had my child full time, and was in school full time.

I hadn’t thought about myself in three years, and I had completely lost connection with what brought me joy.    Let me be clear – I love my daughter – she was and is amazing and inspiring and my north star, but it’s hard to do anything for yourself when you are caring for a toddler.    I forgot who I was, and what I liked, and felt like fun was so secondary to doing what was critically important, which was keeping our little boat floating on the water.    Food, rent, shoes/clothes.  Repeat.

One of the issues that I continue to address in my own life, and in the energy of the clients that I see is that we are losing our sense of play.   We take life way to seriously.   We take ourselves way too seriously.      We feel defined by our choices and if they lead to success or failure, we feel defined by those labels.

So many of us have lost the truth that we are supported and loved, and that life is one great big experiment in joy and divinity.  We do not need to get ourselves entrenched in a single track, and define ourselves so narrowly.

When I look at how I play now, I realize that I am learning how to play at play.   I still take everything too seriously.  I still forget that I don’t have to fix anything, or make everything work, or fix other people’s pain and suffering.     I have to remember that all of this life is a gift, not a struggle, and that all of this life is an opportunity to expand with joy into everything that this world has to offer.

I now keep a coloring book with glitter pencils on my coffee table.  I have a my little pony stuffed animal on my bed.   I am learning to release timelines, rules and tension about how things happen in my life.

I am learning to accept freedom and limitless potential into my life.  I am learning fun, and the byproduct of this is so much joy and freedom.   How do you embrace fun?

Don’t Shoot the Messenger!


How many of you have that one person or that one behavior that send you over the edge? Show of hands? Everyone?  Right?  Me too.

Those behaviors are triggers, and aptly named because it’s as though that behavior or person brings out a response in you that bypasses all of the rational, logical process of escalation, and sends you directly into a place of core wounding or vulnerability.

We can spend hours, days, weeks, months and years analyzing, objectifying, discussing and rationalizing our response to those triggers. We can try to look at how to modify our response to those triggers.   We can spend an equal amount of time frustrated and angry at the person/people or situations causing them, and throw large amounts of time and energy in trying to change, alter, and educate those people or circumstances until they stop triggering us!

However, when we continue to look at the world through the lens of the trigger, we never really get down to what needs to be addressed, we will never really release our anger, disappointment or fear around that situation. Those triggers are just the messengers.

 Those people, or situations, or circumstances trigger a core truth for you.

My dad left when I was very young, and was/is mentally ill.  He’s much more than just his illness, but for the sake of this post, know that he was unable to care for himself or others in any way that felt responsible, safe or loving. In my core truth I knew that I was worthy of love, adoration, respect, and care, and at my very young age, couldn’t understand why that wasn’t being provided to me by my own parent. I spent years angry with my father, alternately vying for his attention, and then punishing him for his lack of it. It was an ugly, trying cycle that left me uncertain about how worthy I should feel, and how connected I was allowed to be, if I couldn’t create and maintain a connection to my own father.

It took years, but like all good things, showed up simply, easily, and unexpectedly.  I realized, looking at my father and the circumstances he had created in his own life, that he really was doing what he felt capable of doing.

I realized that no matter what I did, I was going to going to go in circles unless I could let this anger out, and hope that it would change him, (hasn’t worked so far), hold on to it, and hope that it would change me (it was, and not for the better) or release the wounding.

This wounding was the violation of my core truth, which was ‘I am worthy of all the love I can maintain and that fulfills me.’  When I began to accept that truth, rather than ‘ No matter what, I don’t get what I need’, my life changed instantly.

When people go against your core truth, it’s easy to turn on them, and to make them the centerpiece of the problem. I am slowly learning that when I get a message from the messenger, especially in the guise of frustration or anger, it is an opportunity for me to say ‘Thank you.  Thank you for letting me know that I am worth peace, calm and abundance.  Thank you for shining a light where I thought it was dark, so I can remember that my response is always a choice.”

Next time you find yourself going down the rabbit hole of same old-same old angry or frustrated patterns, ask yourself what glorious part of you is going uncelebrated.  And then, hold yourself up, give thanks for the reminders that you are worthy, and shine on.





Oysters and Pearls



I’ve been thinking about forgiveness lately.  What it  means, where it comes from, where it leads us, and why it’s so stinking hard sometimes.

Resentment has many manifestations.  It feels like an undercurrent of discontent, a feeling of ‘when will it be my turn?’ Occasionally it comes out in more active forms of anger, rage, aggression and self destruction. People who haven’t been able to forgive often self-medication using  alcohol, drugs, sex, food, or other numbing activities (TV, etc.). Those feelings of disconnect stem from a traumatic event or energetic vibration that was set in motion before your could consciously agree to it.

Let me clarify ‘trauma’  because there is a wide spectrum of events that it encompasses, and all categories of abuse fall under this.  The final category is spiritual trauma.  We all have the capacity for delightful and immense connection, especially as children.  Children are able to access realms and beings beyond the sensory, but are often shut down for those experiences.  Children who are taught to reject their experiences of unity, spontaneity,  and community in order to live in one small view of reality experience trauma by being cut off from a loving source of spiritual guidance.  Do you have any childhood memories of deeper knowing and spiritual understanding that you were told were shear fantasy?


The process of forgiveness  begins when we  become aware of the fact that we are living life by someone else’s rules and agreements, and we decide we are ready to renegotiate the terms.  The steps of releasing trauma are similar to going through the steps of grieving.  In order to call something to us, or send it way, energy moves more quickly when called by it’s precise name.

First step is denial– we don’t want to feel the pain of the trauma—we don’t want to look at it closely and find out how bad the wound is, or how deeply the scars go.  We say ‘yes yes, that happened to me, but see?  I’m fine – I’m totally over (______).

Secondly, when it becomes obvious that our experience wasn’t deserved, we become angry that we’ve experienced this shifting event – abuse, death of a parent, poverty, emotional starvation—and we learn how to call it out.

This next step is the one where I find that healing begins – bargaining.  This is the stage where we begin to realize that we have a power in the situation.  We begin with clunky negotiations,  before we realize that we do have the inherit right and power to ask for exactly what we want, without giving up anything but judgement and shame.

Step four is commonly called depression, but I would choose to reframe it as  convalescence. This is the point of the process where people experience all that has been lost, and are able to assimilate and absorb the possibilities.  It may look like depression, but most often it is a mourning process of saying goodbye to familiar ways, and the acknowledging infinite possibility.

Acceptance. This is another word that I would challenge – this word I would change to abundance. Abundance is our jumping off point. Abundance is where we realize that we are not our stories.  Abundance is where we find connection, well being, and divine grace and humor.  Abundance is the point where we thank the events, people, and pieces that have led us here, but we not longer carry them with us into the future.

So, when you are ready to forgive, remember it’s never about being heard by other people, and waiting for events to change. Forgiveness has everything to do with finally hearing yourself, and honoring your own wisdom.208b13b464125a232f01b7eb299907d0

The Elephant in the Room


Hi.  It’s me.  I am the elephant in my healing room.  I know it’s surprising to people when they come to see me, and I’ve been highly recommended, and they see the state of my health.   I am currently obese, I have lost flexibility and suppleness in my body.  I have large circles under my eyes, and I look like a harried mom.  I know this.   I work with a lot of them.  I also know what I’m doing wrong right now and that in order to be healthy and peaceful I need to meditate, sleep, exercise, eat properly and at regular intervals.   I know this, yet in my daily life I don’t eat at normal meal times, I average five hours of sleep a night, and I manage my daughter’s activity calendar too- Sound familiar?

I struggle with the same dis-ease and discomfort that so many women suffer from- the inability or unwillingness to put myself first.  I neglect to do this even when it means that I will serve my family and my community from a more loving and balanced vantage if I do support myself.

I know that it’s hard to take what I say seriously when I clearly don’t follow my own advice.

A dear friend asked me why I struggle with this, and the answer came upon me almost instantly.  I don’t know how to ask for help with my voice. I have turned my body into a plea for help.   My mouth and my voice say I can do it, and that everything is fine, and my body tells the truth – I feel out of control sometimes, and I need help.  I need to know how to reach out and ask for connection, and trust that I will be heard. I am thrilled to connect and rejoice for other people, but feel afraid that it will not be maintainable if I try to turn it on for myself.   I am undoing years of childhood conditioning here, and opening to the abundance of the universe, with all of you as its messengers.

It’s time for me to reach out for the help and support that I’ve been offering to others.  We all need each other.  It’s okay to have a messy house and less than perfect meals while spending time and energy developing a business and raising really good people.  It’s okay to go to bed on time, even if it means that the laundry isn’t folded and the sink isn’t empty.  It’s okay to love myself the way you would a friend-to drop everything else, and ask myself what I need in order to thrive.

I’m learning how to ask myself what I need in order to show up in loving presence, and more than anything else, I am learning to listen to the answer.  I often argue with myself, and convince myself to do one more thing before I can relax and take care of me.

I am making the agreement today – that if I am given the information about what I need, I also give myself permission to listen and act on the information!

I thank all of you for going through this with me, and sharing your experiences along the way.

Energy for the Highest Healing and the Greatest Good is occurring!  

Let’s Move Mountains

Most of you know me through the work I have done with you, or for a friend of yours. And we’ve talked about energy, and energy shifting, and how to allow energy to move you and be moved through you. Each session is such an incredible experience because we are creating healing space, and as much as my client is benefitting, I feel myself healing also.

And let me tell you, I have some shit to heal.

I worry sometimes that people will think I have this above average connection or experience that allows me to move over the surface of life, and that my guides allow me certain grace, and that I don’t suffer and struggle in the same ways. Let me set you all straight. Those people who know me well see how often I fall off the grace bandwagon – they know how often I become fearful, and judgmental and stuck and depressed and critical of myself.
I have to remind myself on a minutely, hourly, daily basis to live in the moments, to step outside of myself in order to step in to them, and that the only thing that fear or worry have ever brought is more fear or worry.

You know want to know what my biggest challenge to healing is? Being aware of how wonderful everything is all the time. My life right now is so incredibly sweet, and I make a conscious decision to celebrate that every day.

10 years ago I was living in a 1 bedroom apartment with my 2 year old daughter, making $1174 a month, and budgeting $29.12 a week for groceries. I was scared all the time. Of not being enough, not doing enough, not providing well enough: You name it, I wasn’t enough.

And I was terrified to show people how lost and scared and desperate and bad I was, so I didn’t ask for help. Also, because I was all the way underwater, I was afraid that if I opened my mouth to ask, I would drown that much more quickly. I have never been so tired, and so afraid.

But still, even in paralyzed fear, I would get incredible gifts of grace.

I met people who held me. I met people who carried me. I met people who challenged me to accept their love, and accept my worth. And I was constantly guided towards my current path, which is of course clearer in hindsight. This was not a seamless journey, and it took about 10 years to reach this point – which I consider the beginning!

The years I spent asleep were the years I was using to become strong enough to be brave. I found this quote just today, and fell into a deep and immediate love with it-

‘Let her sleep, for when she wakes, she will move mountains.’ Napoleon Bonaparte.

That’s how it finally feels. I am ready to stretch, and move my mountains.
Let’s move mountains together. There is no time like the present, and there is nothing that we cannot be brave enough to do together.

Let’s heal.